everybody leaves

And I still see you everywhere. In familiar slouches, dragging of feet with thumbs in pockets.But I can't fucking find you anywhere and it kills me inside. So I block it out. I block everything out. Everything just feels so temporal now and I find myself detaching so easily from the little threads of emotional or physical attachments. But I still try, conversing in awkward flirtation with people who aren't even really interested, fabricating promises of keeping in touch with friends I don't even meet, desperately trying to cling on to the ones which do. You left such a huge gaping hole in my heart that I cannot remember what so many things were like before you left. How could you just disappear like that?