one step forward, two steps back

I have been trying to relay the thoughts in my head into sentences strung together with carefully churned out words and perfect punctuation but it still cannot convey the things I feel inside. I know I said I would do it no matter what, but there are certain things inside my head and heart that are too ugly or hurtful to be shown. So while I still have it together, I'm going to hibernate for a while, because even the smallest of animals need that heart slowing time of numbness to get past the cold, bitter winter and I too, need some time away from my frosty stale winter where I don't feel like I constantly have to sound clever or "nice" to be interesting or readable. Hopefully my heart swells into blooms of renewed faith and love for the things unlovable.

Till then.