in your atmosphere

///

Last night saw a revelation of buried truths and misplaced expectations. Why do I fall apart and expect anyone else but You to pick up the pieces? So I've reached new crossroads, new decisions to make... it's always terrifying yet thrilling thinking about the possibilities to come. The irony being it's already been mapped out, regardless of which path I choose.

Last night I chose to break down for a while. In-between every heaving breath and muffled sigh, I slipped back in my insecurities and drowned, and I tried to look to you for help, screaming out but you couldn't hear me. You threw me a lifebuoy constructed of words - lost in translation, and it was frustrating watching you try and after a while I stopped grasping hopelessly for your futile attempts at saving me. So help me understand this new dynamic between us; keeping you close and loving you in another way without falling. Maybe one day I'll see you again and we'll try to pick up the pieces in awkward hellos and hugs.

So with shaky steps and blind faith I will keep on trudging through, and maybe one day I'll finally be at peace with myself.