can't stop

I'm a commitment phobe. I am afraid of counting down days, weary of measuring minutes and inching seconds through just to solidify a memory. Is it weird? Some things happen like a ticking time bomb and it's scary to wait for the death of a moment. I built up and tear things down in nanoseconds, building, reconstructing, piling up and wrecking it down over and over again. I need some clarity. A moment to stop seeing clocks upon clocks, stop giving myself deadlines to fulfill.

Or maybe one day I'll learn to enjoy the ride, to appreciate recycled metaphors, to feel the wind in my hair and throw my hands up and lace fingers through currents and wriggle toes through warm sand. I need a little courage to not second guess every good thing that comes my way.