“I’m not in love with you but I seem to keep acting that way. If I ever figure it out I’l let you know."

I'll admit I went ahead with the silliest weekend plans just to be able to be in the same space as him. Silly, but aren't we all. Eyes heavy with sleep and body lethargic and sullen, I sat in the corner couch, slouched against tattered leather and listened in on words floating in the air. Conversations with hidden questions waning in resolve exposed themselves, Ben piqued in that questions in these circumstances all demand a specific answer, I agree. In that tiny space, I lost all my words.

But that's that, and I'm happy I've finally sorted a little part of this mess that's accumulating in my mind. I'm sorry I haven't been the happiest trooper around. There is a fog around me, smothering me in it's heaviness, and I can't shake it off.

I am so distracted and disillusioned. Just a few weeks more, come on Debs, just finish this, finish well.