A Romance of Daily Things #01 - Phonecalls
"There was a point in time when my mother would pride me on the maturity I showed in relationships. This was before I let my ego become severely bruised by the nonchalance of someone else. On the journey back to finding myself, I learned a few things:
Jealousy has no place in stability. The person you are with is not the person you were with before; do not compare the two. If there is no trust, there is no nurture. Dishonesty is the equivalent of ten steps backwards. Attraction should be rooted in mentality, not merely physicality. Arguing is inevitable - come to peaceful reconciliations. Do not take your partner for granted - there will come a point when enough is truly enough. Most importantly, do not harbor spiteful feelings towards past loves. Thank them for moulding you into your current state and let go. If I could offer one bit of advice, it would be to not measure your relationships in days or months or years. Instead, measure the special bond you have in touch and affection and the ease at which you can be yourself around that other person."
So much of constructing these ties between us lies in the comfort of thought-less constructed sentences we say over the airwaves.
The other night you asked me why I never told you about my exes. I found that odd because I feel like I'm always rambling on about them. I'm still so amazed that we can talk so openly about it, (although I seem to be holding back more than I let on), but you and your kindness towards my shortcomings are humbling and strange all at once. and I worry because I don't know if these thoughts are enough to accumulate into love. or if we will just keep walking down this path with no end in sight. or if I will feel more than I do now, or what will happen if i do feel more than I do.
Then, you commented about how you're always the one offering to hang up when we talk on the phone. Again, I don't know how to put into words that I let you do it because time spent "together" never feels enough.. and I'll happily lose sleep because I've exchanged sleepless nights consumed in my own thoughts to let you flood them with new found wonder.
I've been sleeping through till morning ever since.
The other night you asked me why I never told you about my exes. I found that odd because I feel like I'm always rambling on about them. I'm still so amazed that we can talk so openly about it, (although I seem to be holding back more than I let on), but you and your kindness towards my shortcomings are humbling and strange all at once. and I worry because I don't know if these thoughts are enough to accumulate into love. or if we will just keep walking down this path with no end in sight. or if I will feel more than I do now, or what will happen if i do feel more than I do.
Then, you commented about how you're always the one offering to hang up when we talk on the phone. Again, I don't know how to put into words that I let you do it because time spent "together" never feels enough.. and I'll happily lose sleep because I've exchanged sleepless nights consumed in my own thoughts to let you flood them with new found wonder.
I've been sleeping through till morning ever since.
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